Here’s my take on a proper old fashioned and how a bartender can lose my respect and possibly ruin my evening if they make these disastrous mistakes. So, while I’m waiting to be seated or just need any other excuse to be posted up at the bar I usually have 2 go to drinks; An old fashioned or a blue cheese stuffed dirty vodka martini, but that’s for another story. I can usually tell by the type of establishment if a proper old fashioned will be made. I get extremely disappointed with the over-eagerness and flaunting of the bartender about his expertise of making an old fashioned. I’m at this nice seafood restaurant overlooking the harbor at sunset and decide to ask the bartender if he can make a proper old fashioned, assuming he knows what I’d mean. He says, “oh ya, my old fashioneds are really good.” So I give him a chance, and he goes on to make every mistake I can think of when making my favorite cocktail. He starts by asking me if Jim Beam is good? Are you fucking kidding me? Strike one. There is only one way I like my Old Fashioneds and that’s with Rye American Whiskey. Top choice for me is WhistlePig, followed by Templeton, and then I can go Bulleit Rye for a cheaper option. Strike 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 all kind of happen all together and I was in such disbelief, I simply began to think, it just wasn’t my drink being made. He breaks all my pet peeves at once and here they are: First he grabs a tumbler mixing set and puts in 2 maraschino cherries and an orange slice, not a peel twist, but what seemed to be half of a grapefruit. He then muddles the shit out of them to the point where it looked like a heavy pulp orange juice. He then serves it to me in crushed ice. As he puts it in front of me, I held back my anger but muscled out the only word that came forward, “Wrong.” As I hung my head in disappointment and grabbed the drink, I walked away thinking it looked like a Mai Tai and deserved a plastic umbrella.
Know which whiskey's are proper and make a good recommendation for me if needed.
The only thing ever to be muddled is a sugar cube and bitters.
No shaking a tumbler; get your bar spoon out and earn the tip by mixing the drink properly
Luxardo cherries are the only things that should touch my glass. It’s not an ice cream sundae. Give me three if you really want to make me happy.
Garnish with a lemon peel or orange peel. Personally, I prefer a lemon peel.
Either no ice or over a large ice rock/cube. I'm not looking for a Sonic happy hour slushy.
Complete those simple steps an I will be a happy drinker and visits will be aplenty.So let me finish with how you can earn my respect as a bartender:
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