My entire legal drinking life, Detroit has been a skidmark on the underpants of the professional sports world. 2014-2018 (As of 12/30) -Lions: 42-38 -Red Wings: 147-149-57 -Pistons: 168-192 -Tigers: 378-430 Overall: 734-809 That equates to a winning percentage of .476*, or mediocre. Sports purgatory, slightly above complete futility and just below average. The 2013 Detroit Tigers were the last true championship contender from the city of Detroit. A year removed from an AL pennant and with 2013 Cy Young and MVP winners Max Scherzer and Miguel Cabrera, the Tigers lost a 7 game ALCS to the Boston Red Sox in heartbreaking fashion. Jim Leyland’s retirement signaled the end of an era in Detroit. Suffering an ALDS sweep the following year with another loaded roster was the nail in the coffin. Detroit fans were left wondering, Which team is next up for a championship run? Notable Detroit Sports accomplishments (2014-2018): -Lions draft Eric Ebron 10th Overall (Still available: OBJ, Aaron Donald, Brandin Cooks). (2014) -Brad Ausmus takes over as Tigers manager, outrages millions by joking about beating his wife after work. (2014) -Generational superstar Calvin Johnson retires after nine seasons at age 30. (2015) -Former Tigers Max Scherzer and Rick Porcello combine for 3 Cy Young awards.(2016-17) -Red Wings 25 season playoff streak ends. (2016) -New Stadium! (2017) -Pistons draft Luke Kennard one spot ahead of Donovan Mitchell. (2017) -Lions hire a rocket scientist at head coach. (2018) -Tigers TV broadcasters Rod Allen and Mario Impemba brawl over the use of a chair. Neither broadcasts a Tigers game ever again. (2018) Zero playoff series wins. Aside from the ‘14 Tigers, zero division titles, let alone championship appearances. Could go on and on but the facts are staggering. The vision I’ve always had of gathering at a bar for a championship clinching game and hugging drunk strangers in public continues to evade me.
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