Getting invited to a bachelor party is always exciting and it's an honor to be considered as someone the groom wants to spend his last big pre-wedding weekend out with. I've been privileged to have been a part of quite a few, thirteen and counting to be exact, including my own last year. The first of these was 7 years ago in Las Vegas, when I was 26 years old and the most recent, just a couple weeks back in Scottsdale, now as a soon to be 33 year old. A lot can change in seven years when it comes to attending a bachelor party but most noticeably is the ability to recover and enter back into civilization again. Let's walk through the process from start to finish. 1. Email/group text is sent by the best man announcing the bachelor party. This gets me pumped. I see the list of who's all invited and I start to envision the reunion and weekend with the boys. Only briefly will I recall the most recent bachelor party weekend and the condition it left me in. During this moment, fear strikes, but then I quickly eliminate that fear by convincing myself that it wasn't that rough and I'm doing just fine now. 2. The weekend of the party approaches The group texts start flowing. Everyone is feeling like spring break is approaching. We're feeling young and ready to wreak havoc in just a few days. 3. Day 1 - It begins... Everyone begins to arrive and in most cases since we're flying in from somewhere, most people arrive with a slight buzz already from a few on-board flight beverages. Health, energy, and momentum is at an all time peak for the weekend. While some may try to convince themselves to "pace" themselves prior to the shenanigans commencing, this easily goes out the door once things get rolling. The rest of the day/evening proceeds to be a semi-aggressive bender as if we're all still in college. 4. Day 2 morning - The aftermath Every group has a couple of guys who can just handle their booze better and like to take on a little extra responsibility for making sure the weekend goes smoothly. They are the ones up before everyone the next morning cleaning up the mess from the night before and if you're really lucky, they've picked up breakfast or are whipping up a big breakfast for the house. This is of course, if you're in a house. If not, group texts are flowing again attempting to gather up all members of the group to begin the day's first activity. There's some grogginess and pain from hitting it hard on day 1 but momentum and excitement along with a bloody mary or quick beer helps shake off the fog and get the day moving in the right direction. 5. Day 2 - "The Activity" The initial day is all about everyone arriving into town and just getting after it. Maybe there's a planned dinner but generally the main activities are set for the following day whether it be golf, renting a boat, hitting some breweries, etc... This is the ultimate day long test to see if you still "got it", especially after a long night the previous night. At some point, the morning half-drunken burst of steam will start to wear down. The roller coaster begins. Some will crash. Others will prevail and push through. There's no shame in attempting to recharge but the actual likelihood of sobering up then hitting it hard again in the same day is very slim. Once the towel is thrown it, it's generally game over. I don't have any experience with that. I take on a FOMO mindset and keep pushing myself. 6. Day 2 - Dinner (maybe) and a night out If there is going to be a nice dinner this is when it generally occurs. You head home from the "activity", clean up, and head back out. Some may not make it and every so often the day drinking will just blend into the night with dinner being forgotten. If this happens, it's critical to at least find some fast food for yourself to help soak up the booze. It can be hard sometimes to corral the group so this is the one thing you can Houdini from the crowd to address if necessary. Now that you have replenished yourself, it's go time again. Your body might hate you but knowing that it's the final evening, you'll convince yourself to turn it back up for a few more hours. 7. Day 3 - It's over... or is it? You wake up and you're initially a little upset that you willingly drank so much that you made youself feel this miserable. You chug some water and then start laughing about the previous day which helps you take your mind off the pain. At this point, most bachelor parties are over and the Uber's of shame to the airport commence. But for some, there's still one more day... I personally did 3 days for my bachelor party and the most recent bachelor party I attended was also 3 days. This is an aggressive decision but with it being such an aggressive weekend to begin with, why not. A day and a half goes by too fast and the opportunities to get your best friends together as you get older start to get numbered. 8. Day 3 - The final push If you're on day 3, you're not there to recover and lick your wounds. Once again, you grab a few breakfast beverages and fight off the morning fog. I wouldn't say you're "taking it easy" this day but most likely there may not be any big activities planned. It'll be another long grind of day drinking into the night and at this point you'll probably be running on fumes but the extra day provides a final hurrah to cap things off. 9. Time to go home You'll be sitting at the airport feeling a little sluggish but trying to convince yourself that you're just a little tired. You'll think a little sleep on the plane and nice long night of sleep back home will get you ready for the next day at work. There's nothing wrong with being a little optimistic but it's not realistic. What you just did to your body is going to take time to heal mentally and physically. That first conference call the next morning is going to be a struggle. Forming a complete sentence that sounds professional will seem like speaking a foreign language. You might think you sound good but you don't. I'm sorry. Things will get better as the week progresses but you're looking at possibly Wednesday/Thursday before you actually start to feel like the man you were prior to leaving for the bachelor party. 10. Never again / "Another bachelor party? Hell yeah!" Now that you've regained your health, you tell yourself that maybe you're just too old for these long booze filled weekends. The week long hangover just isn't worth it.... Then a week, maybe a month, maybe a few months go by...Then you get a group text for another bachelor party coming up. That miserable week of recovering barely exists as a memory and the cycle of excitement starts all over. Final Thoughts The only advice I can offer is to sneak in some water and make sure you don't skip meals. This might be the only way to soften the blow. Surviving these bachelor weekends become tougher in your 30's versus your 20's but knowing that they will start to slow down as you approach your 40's should provide some motivation to enjoy them while they last. A hangover may last a few days but the memories that are made will last much longer. That should be a Hallmark Card. Good luck to all you 30+ year old's embarking on bachelor party benders in 2019. You can do it. I believe in you.
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